Chapter 26 : Laws Concerning the Mourner's Kaddish.

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§1

We find many Midrashim of how by the son saying Kaddish for his (deceased) father or mother they were saved from judgement. Therefore it is customary to say Kaddish. Also (other practices which benefit the departed include) receiving maftir and leading the congregation in prayer particularly on Saturday nights, for this is the time that the souls return to Gehinnom. The same applies on all evening prayers for then judgement is more severe. There are on the matter of the Kaddishim some differences in the laws, depending on the (local) customs.

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§2

During the seven (days of mourning), whether he is a minor or an adult, a resident (of the city) or a guest, he has all the Kaddishim. ¹ This (right) supersedes those of all the (other) mourners. Even if a festival falls in the seven (days) and nullifies the (mourning) practices of the seven, and also after the seven (days) as it nullifies the (mourning) practices of the thirty-day period, the rights (of the mourner's) concerning Kaddish is unaffected. Similarly, we do not follow regarding Kaddish, (the principle) "part of the day is like the whole". ² and even in the afternoon service of the seventh day, he has all the Kaddishim. We count ³ the seven (days) and thirty (days) from the day (the deceased) was buried. Even if the mourner did not hear (about the death) immediately, and started later on (not from the burial) the seven days of mourning, in any case, with regard to Kaddish he does not have (the same) rights of the seven. Similarly, when (a person) dies on a festival, one counts (the seven) for Kaddish from the day of the burial.

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1. He is entitled to all the Kaddishim in the services.
2. And finish on the morning of the 7th.
3. For saying Kaddish.

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§3

If there is in the synagogue also a yahrzeit, then, if the mourner (in his) seven (days) is a child below majority, who (does not remain at home) and may go all the seven days to the synagogue, then the yahrzeit is entitled to one Kaddish. If there are many yahrzeit (present) each one is entitled to one Kaddish, and even if the child, who is in his seven days, will be left without any. If there is one in the thirty (day mourning period) he is also entitled to one Kaddish. However, even if there are many in their thirty, the child (in his) seven (days), never loses completely (his Kaddish rights) because of them. If he is an adult who does not go, all the seven (days), to the synagogue, but rather prays in his home with a minyan, in any event, when he comes on Shabbat to the synagogue, he says all the Kaddishim. If there is also a yahrzeit, he (the seven days person) still says all the Kaddishim except for one Kaddish on which they draw lots. ¹ When he is freed from the seven days of mourning by a festival, ² or his father passed away on a festival then he is like the child (who attends the synagogue) because he (an adult) can also go to the synagogue every day.

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1. To decide who will say it.
2. A festival that falls during the seven or thirty day mourning period brings that period to an end.

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§4

A seven (day) child and a seven (day) adult on Shabbat, when they come to the synagogue, the Kaddishim are divided equally between them. If there is also a yahrzeit, he is superseded because of the adult. Therefore the adult has one Kaddish more than the child, namely, that Kaddish which the child would have had to give to the yahrzeit.

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§5

A yahrzeit and similarly, a thirty (day) person have priority over other mourners who are in the (mourning) year. In any event they should also give to the others (the opportunity of saying) certain Kaddishim. Thus, it is proper that the Kaddish d'Rabbanan and the Kaddish after Aleinu ¹ be given to the yahrzeit or to the thirty (day) person, while the other Kaddishim ² to the rest of the mourners if their number equals the number of the Kaddishim.

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1. "Upon us (is the duty) to offer praise..."
2. Are divided.

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§6

A yahrzeit and a thirty (day) person, (we apply the principle) of "profit and loss" ¹ the (thirty) day person has priority and the yahrzeit (gets) only one Kaddish. If there are many yahrzeit, each one gets one Kaddish, even if (by doing this) the thirty (day) person will not be left anything. Because he may say (Kaddish) tomorrow, while the yahrzeit, if he does not say (Kaddish) today, his opportunity will have passed.

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1. That is - who has most to lose.

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§7

When there are two mourners with equal (privileges), lots should be cast between them. The one who wins the lot says (Kaddish in) the evening service. And the second one gets because of this one Kaddish in the morning service, without a lottery, and for the third Kaddish lots should be cast. Similarly, if there are present many (mourners), again lots are cast. Whoever won once is excluded from the future draws until all have said. ¹

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1. At least one Kaddish.

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§8

The resident (mourner) has precedence over a guest ¹ (if the latter has passed the seven (days)). Yahrzeit of a resident (which coincides with) the yahrzeit of a guest, the guest does not get anything. A thirty (day) resident or a resident in the year and a guest yahrzeit, the guest is entitled to one Kaddish. If there is a resident yahrzeit or a thirty (day) resident and a yahrzeit guest, there is also for the guest one Kaddish. The yahrzeit resident cannot tell him (the guest), "I'm first", ² for (the guest) can say: "No, I am not taking the privilege from you, but from the thirty (day) person." The yahrzeit resident (then) says the first Kaddish, the guest yahrzeit the second Kaddish and the thirty (day) person the third Kaddish.

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1. A "resident" refers to one who lives in this community and a "guest" is one who is visiting from outside. Nowadays, when we have more than one synagogue in a community, the "resident" has come to mean a member of a particular synagogue. There are even distinctions between a member, one who is not a member but prays regularly in this synagogue and one who is visiting, also whether the visitor is a relative of a member or not.
2. "My rights supersede yours".

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§9

A thirty (day) guest and a resident within the year (of mourning) are considered equal.

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§10

A yahrzeit resident and a thirty (day) guest, the resident should say the first and second Kaddish and the guest the third.

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§11

A guest within the year (of mourning) has one Kaddish among mourning residents (also) in the year.

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§12

A resident is defined, in this context, as anyone who has here (in the city) a permanent dwelling, even if he does not pay taxes, or one who pays here taxes even if he does not live here. A person who comes here from another place to say Kaddish for his father or mother who lived here, even though they (his parents) were residents here, in any case, because this son neither lives here nor pays taxes here, he is not considered to be a resident. A house owner who employs a teacher or servant, if they are unmarried then they are considered residents. However, if they have wives (living) in another place, they are considered here to be guests. Students in a yeshiva or teachers employed by several house-owners, even though they have wives living elsewhere are considered to be resident. One who raises an orphan in his house, even for money, since he has neither a father or mother, is like a resident. However, if either his father or mother (are alive) and live elsewhere, even if (his host) is raising him as an act of charity, (the orphan) is considered to be a guest.

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§13

One who prays in one synagogue or house of study always, if he wants to say Kaddish in another synagogue the mourners there can refuse him. Even if he is in the (mourning) week (his standing) is worse than a guest, since a guest has no place to pray and say Kaddish but he does.

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§14

One who is able and is fit to pray as the chazan should do so. This is of greater benefit than (saying) Mourner's Kaddish, which was not instituted except for minors. One who cannot pray the entire service should pray (at least) from "Happy are they" and "And there shall come to Zion" onward. One who has higher precedence on the Kaddishim i.e., in the week (of mourning) and in the (first) thirty days, also has higher precedence with (leading the congregation in) prayer. It is customary that a mourner not lead the congregation in prayer on Shabbat or festivals. ¹ However, if even before he became a mourner, he normally was chazan on Shabbat or festivals, also during his mourning he may be the chazan.

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1. In many communities, it is customary for a mourner not to lead the congregation in prayer on any day when the musaph service is said. These restrictions apply only to a person within the year of mourning. However, a person commemorating a yahrzeit may lead the congregation even on Shabbat or festivals.

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§15

Two who are equal regarding (saying) Kaddish, and both are capable of being the chazan, ¹ and both are equally acceptable to the congregation, they should cast lots. So that one prays upto "Happy are they" and "And there shall come to Zion", and the other prays from there on. If one is not able to be the chazan or is not acceptable to the congregation, and the second one prayed, the latter who prayed, did not lose his rights to the Kaddishim. In any event, he should forgo (his rights) and leave the Kaddish to the one who didn't pray - and how much more so for minors.

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1. Leading the prayers - lit. "praying before the ark" - because the chazan normally stands there.

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§16

One who is mourning the loss of his father and also his mother, in any event does not a greater right in (saying) the prayers or in (saying) the Kaddishim from other mourners, because one memorial is sufficient for both.

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§17

It is customary to say Kaddish for only eleven months, in order not to make one's parents appear wicked, as (our Sages said) "The judgement of the wicked is (no longer than) twelve months." ¹ So if a person die, for example, on the tenth of Shevat, one stops saying (Kaddish) on the ninth of Tevet. On the tenth of Tevet he should not say, for that is already the first day of the twelfth month, and even one day of a month is considered to be an (entire) month. Thus, it would be considered as if he said (Kaddish) for twelve months. In this regard, one counts from the day of the burial and not from the day of death. For example, if one was buried on the eleventh of Shevat, one stops (saying Kaddish) on the tenth of Tevet, since the (heavenly) judgement does not begin until after the burial. During a leap year, one stops (saying Kaddish) on the ninth, (or tenth (if buried a day later) of Kislev). On the day he stops saying (Kaddish), he is entitled to say all the Kaddishim. However, a yahrzeit has one Kaddish, and, similarly, a thirty (days) person, and if there are several with yahrzeit or during their thirty (day period) this person may not be given any Kaddishim. When a person knows that either his father or mother are among the wicked who will be judged for twelve months, it is fitting, and he is obliged, to say Kaddish for twelve months. ²

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1. Shabbat 33b.
2. This practice is not accepted by all halachic authorities.

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§18

When there are many mourners present, heaven forbid, then, in order to prevent from arising discord and quarrels, it is customary in many places (to allow) two or three (mourners) to say (Kaddish) together. ¹

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1. In our time, this has been further expanded and it is customary in most congregations for all the mourners to say all the Kaddishim in unison.

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§19

If there is not in the synagogue any one mourning his father or mother, the Kaddish should be said by one who has neither a father or a mother, on behalf of all the departed of Israel. In some communities, it is customary that the rest of the relatives say Kaddish for their (departed) relatives if none mourning their father or mother are present. Furthermore, even if there are people mourning their father or mother, if someone wanted to say Kaddish for his grandfather or grandmother who died without (leaving any) sons, or for his son or daughter who died without sons, the other mourners should allow him to say one Kaddish after they have said one (Kaddish) each. In some communities, it is customary that other relatives also say Kaddish even when there are people mourning their father or mother. However, a compromise between them is reached, and (the former) do not say as many Kaddishim as those mourning their father or mother. In all these manners we follow the (prevailing) custom, provided it is a fixed custom in the community.

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§20

A daughter should not say Kaddish in the synagogue. However, some (authorities) say that if she wants to hold a minyan in her house so that she can say (Kaddish) there, she is permitted to do so. ¹ Other (authorities) say that also this should not be done.

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1. lit. - "the rights are in her hand"

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§21

One who had yahrzeit and was unable to say Kaddish ¹ because he was on a journey or did not receive a Kaddish, ² can say Kaddish in the evening service after (the day of) the yahrzeit.

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1. On the day, since yahrzeit - lit. "the time of the year" - or the anniversary (Hebrew) date of the person passing away - is for one day only, starting with the evening service then morning, additional (when there is) and afternoon services.
2. Because there were not enough available.

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§22

Though saying Kaddish and prayers are helpful to the departed, in any event, they are not of primary importance. Rather it is essential that the children proceed in the path of righteousness, for by this, they bring merit to their parents. The holy Zohar ¹ declares: "A son honors his father," ² as it is said: ³ "Honor your father and mother." This refers to food, drink, and clothes, which he is obligated to provide in their lifetime. When they die, is one free of this obligation? This is not so. After their passing, he is obliged to honor him more, for it is written: "honor your father..." If a son follows a disastrous path, he surely disgraces his father and brings him shame. But a son who walks in the path of righteousness and corrects his deeds surely honors his father. He brings honor to him in this world in the eyes of men, and brings honor to him in the world to come before the Holy One, blessed be He. The Holy One, blessed he He, has compassion on him and seats him on a throne of glory... up to here his (the Zohar's) words. A person should command his children to be strongly (observant) of one mitzvah. Their practice of it will be considered more (important) than (their saying) Kaddish. This is a valuable practice also for someone who does not have sons but only daughters. ⁴

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1. On Bechukotai.
2. Malachi 1:6.
3. Exodus 20:12.
4. Who do not say Kaddish.