Chapter 42 : Laws Pertaining to the Meal

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§1

If you own animals or birds (poultry), and it is your responsibility to feed them, you are not allowed to eat anything until you feed them, as it is written (Deuteronomy 11:15): "And I will put grass in your fields for your cattle (animals) and you will eat and he satisfied." Thus the rforah has given prcfercnce to feeding the cattle [animals] before the feeding of man. But as regards drinking, man comes first as it is written (Genesis 24:14): [Rivkah said] "Drink first and I will also give your camels to drink." Similarly it is written (Numbers 20:8): "And you will give drink to the congregation and to their animals."

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§2

Do not eat or drink in a gluttonous way. Do not eat while standing and do not drink while standing; and your table should be clean and nicely covered, even if you are only going to eat something insignificant. Do not take a portion as large as a kebeitzah and eat from it; and do not hold the food in one hand and break off pieces from it with the other hand. Do not drink a cup of wine in one gulp, and one who does so is a glutton. Drinking it in two gulps, is considered proper; but drinking it in three gulps is considered haughtiness, unless, it is a very large cup, for then you can drink from it many times. Similarly, if it is a very small cup (containing less than a revrisb you can drink it in one gulp.

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§3

Do not take a bite of bread and place the remainder on the table, or give it to a friend, or put it into the serving dish, because it might be offensive to others. Also, do not drink from a cup and give the rest to a friend, because every person should be careful not to drink from the remainder of a cup from which someone else has drank, for the one to whom it is offered might be embarrassed and drink from it against his will.

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§4

Do not be irritable during the meal because the guests and the family members will be embarrassed to eat, for they may think that you are angry and irritable because you begrudge them their food.

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§5

Do not talk while eating, even about matters of Torah, because there is a danger of choking, should the food enter the windpipe instead of the gullet. Even if someone sneezes, you should not say gezuntheit to him. But when you are not actually eating, it is a mitzvah to discuss Torah matters at the table, and you should be very careful to observe this rule. It is also a good custom to say, after eating the piece of bread of the motzi, [Psalm 23 which begins]:"A Psalm to David Hashem is my shepherd I shall lack nothing," for these are considered [words of] Torah, as well as a prayer for food. At the conclusion of the meal, if it is a weekday, it is customary to say (Psalm 137): "By the rivers of Babylon." On Shabbos and Yom Toy and on all days when tachanun is not said, it is customary to say (Psalm 126): "A song of Ascents, when Hashem brings about the return to Zion." When learning at the table from a book, be very careful, because it is very common [particularly with the old type of paper] for the books to harbor small worms, and you might transgress the prohibition against eating them, God forbid.

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§6

If two are sitting at a table together, even if each has his own dish, or if they are eating fruit and each has his own portion, nevertheless, the more learned of the two starts eating first; and one who starts eating before a more learned person is a glutton.

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§7

If two are eating from one dish and one stops eating in order to drink something or do some minor thing, it is proper etiquette that the other person wait for him; but if there are three eating, the two do not have to stop eating to wait for the one.

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§8

You may use bread for any of your needs, provided the bread doesn't become repulsive, but you must not cause it to become repulsive. Therefore you must not use it to prop up a plate which contains something that will make the bread repulsive, if it spills on it. If you eat any kind of food with a piece of bread and you use the bread as a substitute spoon, you must be careful to eat some of the bread with each mouthful, and what is left from the bread should also be eaten afterwards.

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§9

It is forbidden to throw bread even in a place where it will not become repulsive, because the very act of throwing is degrading to the bread. It is also forbidden to throw other kinds of food, which become repulsive when thrown, But food that will not become loathsome, such as nuts, etc., may be thrown. Do not sit on a sack that contains fruit, because they will become repulsive by it. Do not wash your hands with wine or other liquids, because it degrades them. When you see food lying on the ground, you must pick it up. Food that is fit for human beings should not be fed to animals because it degrades the food.

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§10

If you have to make medicine from bread or from any other food, even though the food becomes repulsive because of it, it is permissible.

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§11

Be very careful not to throw crumbs away, because it may cause poverty; rather, gather them and feed them to the birds.

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§12

When you drink water, you should not drink in the presence of others, rather, turn your face away; but when drinking other liquids, you need not turn your face away.

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§13

Do not stare at someone who is eating or drinking, nor at the portion in front of him, so as not to embarrass him.

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§14

Some of the food or drink which has a [good] aroma and creates desire, must be given to the waiter before it is served to others, because it can be harmful to see food before him for which he has a desire and yet cannot eat of it.

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§15

Do not serve food to anyone unless you know he will wash his hands and recite the berachah.

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§16

A woman whose husband is not present, should not drink wine; and if she is away from home, even if her husband is with her, she is forbidden to drink wine. The same applies to other intoxicating drinks. However, if she is accustomed to drink wine in the presence of her husband, she may drink a little even in her husband's absence.

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§17

Guests must not take anything from the food served them and give it to the son or daughter of the host, for it may be that the host has no other food than that which has been set before them, and he will be embarrassed if the guests will not have enough. But if there is abundant food on the table, it is permissible.

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§18

When you enter a home, do not say, "Give me something to eat," [but you should wait] until it is offered. It is forbidden to partake of a meal which is not sufficient for the hosts even if the host invites you to eat with him because this borders on robbery. This is a serious sin, and it is in the category of sins for which repentance is very difficult.

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§19

It is forbidden to leave your place before reciting Birkas Hamazon (see Chap. 44). [It is forbidden] even to go to another room, in the middle of the meal, to finish the meal there, or to return to the original room to finish the meal. Even to walk out the door and return afterwards to finish the meal, should be avoided. If, however, you do go out, whether you finish the meal where you are presently, or you return to your original place to finish your meal, you do not have to repeat the berachah Hamotzi, because since the meal was set on bread, even though you changed places, it is considered all one meal; but you must be sure to eat at least a kazayis of bread at the place you will recite Birkas Hamazon. However, when food other than bread is involved, the laws are not the same.

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§20

If a group of people eat together and some of them leave the table with the intention of returning, even if only one of the group remains at the original place, there is no disruption to the status of the place they established; and when they return, they return to their original status and their leaving is not considered an interruption.

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§21

If, at the time you recited the berachah, Hamotzi, you had in mind to go to another place to complete the meal and recite Birkas Hamazon there, the custom is to permit this practice, but you must make sure to eat at least a kezayis of bread at the new place. But this should not be done unless it is necessary to attend a mitzvah repast.

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§22

If you interrupt the meal to pray, when you resume eating, you do not have to repeat the Hamotzi. Similarly, if you fall asleep during the meal for a short nap, even though it was prolonged for a while, it is not considered an interruption. Similarly, if you interrupted for other personal needs such as to move your bowels or the like. Nevertheless, in these latter situations, your hands must be washed again, because of the distraction, unless you guarded your hand from uncleanness. Even though you wash your hands again, you do not recite the berachah on this washing; because, when washing on account of distraction, you do not recite another berachah.

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§23

When you finish your meal and you have decided to recite Birkas Hamazon, but then change your mind and want to eat or drink, there are numerous technical difficulties of halachah regarding the berachah to be said. Therefore, you should refrain from this practice. Rather, as soon as you decide to say Birkas Hamazon, you should do so.