Chapter 152 : Prohibition Against Being Secluded with Women and Other Forbidden Associations with Them.

---

§1

It is forbidden to be secluded with any woman whether young or old, a Jewess or a non-Jewess, whether she is a relative or not a relative, with the exception of a father who may be alone with his daughter, and a mother with her son, and a husband with his wife, even though she is menstrually unclean. (Concerning a bride who is menstrually unclean see Chapter 157, below).

---

§2

If your wife is [also] present, you are permitted to be alone even with another woman because your wife is a chaperon. But a Jewess may not be alone with a non-Jew, even in the presence of his wife. Even if there are many non-Jews accompanied by their wives, she may not be alone with them.

---

§3

One woman may be alone with two virtuous men, but only in town, and in the daytime. But in a field, or at night even in the city, there must be [at least] three virtuous men present. With immoral men, she should never be alone, even if they are many, unless their wives are with them. One man is forbidden to be secluded with two women. Some authorities permit seclusion with three or more women, provided his vocation or trade is not specifically for women. Other authorities forbid it in any event.

---

§4

If a woman's husband is in town, you need not be concerned about being secluded with her, because she is in fear of her husband.

---

§5

In a room where the door is open to a public thoroughfare, there is no prohibition of yichud during the daytime and in the early evening, so long as people are passing by on the street. But if he is an intimate friend of hers, like one with whom she grew up, or if she is related to him, or if her husband warned her not to be alone with him, she may not be alone with him, even if her husband is in town, and not even in a room whose door is opened to a public thoroughfare.

---

§6

If a girl is less than three years old, it is permitted to be secluded with her. Likewise, if a boy is less than nine years old a woman is permitted to be alone with him.

---

§7

A man who does not have a wife should not teach children, because their mothers come to the school and at times he will be alone with a woman. [If he is married], it is not necessary that his wife be with him at the school, so long as she is in town; even if she is at home, and he teaches at the school. But a woman should not teach children even if her husband is in town, unless her husband lives with her in the house (where she teaches), because the fathers bring their children to school.

---

§8

A man must diligently avoid women. It is forbidden to make gestures with your hands or with your feet, nor wink your eyes at a woman. It is forbidden to jest with her, to act with levity in her presence, or to gaze at her beauty. It is forbidden to smell perfumes designed specifically for a woman; especially when she is holding them in her hands, or when they are on her. It is forbidden to look at the colored garments of a woman with whom you are acquainted, although the garments are not upon her lest you come to think about her. If you encounter a woman on the street, it is forbidden to walk behind her, but you should hasten your steps so that she is alongside you or behind you. You should not pass by the door of a harlot, even at a distance of four cubits. He who gazes, even at the small finger of a woman in order to enjoy its sight, commits a very grave sin. It is forbidden to listen to the voice [of a woman] singing or to gaze at a woman's hair.

---

§9

You must refrain from showing interest in women. It is forbidden to send her regards even through her husband. Therefore, when writing a letter to your friend, it is forbidden to write, "Send regards to your wife." But it is permitted to inquire of her husband or of someone else about her welfare. It is also permitted to write to your friend, "Let me know how your wife is doing."

---

§10

If you hug or kiss even one of your female relatives, even though you derive no pleasure from it, you are violating a prohibition, for you may not have any physical closeness with a near relative, with the exception of a father with his daughter, and a mother with her son, who are permitted to hug and kiss.

---

§11

You must not engage in any intimate activities, even with your wife in the presence of others, so that on-lookers will not be led to sinful thoughts.

---

§12

A man must not dwell in his father-in-law's house, unless he has a private bedroom.

---

§13

The great men of Yisrael, of blessed memory, in their holy works, admonished against the evil custom prevailing in some communities, where there are no Torah scholars or God-fearing men, that the groom and bride become intimate with hugs and kisses; and they also allow dances, in which boys and girls dance together. All virgins are assumed to be menstrually unclean, and since the prohibition of niddah applies to married and single woman alike, whoever touches a woman in an intimate manner deserves punishment by lashing. Besides the grave sin of touching a niddah, he also stirs the evil impulse within himself, and causes himself to have an erection, and to discharge semen in vain, God forbid. Certainly anyone who is able to effectively protest [against this custom] must make every endeavor to protest. At least, it is the duty of every man who has the fear of God in his heart, to control his household, and to supervise the members of his family, so that they will keep themselves distant from this extremely abominable behavior. Anyone who is able to effectively protest and does not protest, God forbid, he too will be accountable for this very iniquity. Anyone who saves others from sin has saved himself (too), and it shall be well with him.

---

§14

With regard to the woman whom you wish to marry, it is permissible and even desirable for you to look at her to see if she pleases you, but you may not gaze upon her in a lustful manner. Concerning this it is said, "I made a covenant with my eyes, how then can I ever gaze at a maiden."

---

§15

If you divorced the wife you married, she may not reside in the same courtyard as you do. If you are a kohein, or even a Yisroel, but she has since married another man, and was divorced from him too; or if you divorced her because she was forbidden to you; all of these require a greater measure of separation. And subsequently, she may not reside with you in the same alley if it comes to a dead-end. But if it is an open alley, through which there is traffic, they are permitted to live there. A divorced woman who remarried and lives with her second husband, they [she and her first husband] require an even greater measure of separation, and she may not dwell with her first husband in the same neighborhood. In all these cases of separation, the woman must move away from him. But if the courtyard belongs to her, he must move away from her.

---

§16

A man is permitted to support his divorcee, and it is [even] a mitzvah to do so more than to another poor person, for it is said, "Do not hide from your own flesh." But he may have no personal contact with her, and should send her support through an agent.

---

§17

Said Rav Beruna in the name of Ray, "He who sleeps in a room in which a husband and wife reside, the Scripture says concerning him, "The women of My people you cast out of their pleasant houses", (for they are ashamed to be intimate because of him). Rav Yosef said this applies even if his wife is menstrually unclean.